MY STORY: How I let my husband marry our housemaid of 10 years


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So many stories have been said about house maids especially in Africa. House maids have been branded the worst and yet necessary evils to have because of the duties and roles they play in our homes.

In the next few weeks I will be sharing different stories about maids as told by different people from different homes. This week I share my own bitter experience.

I have been married for 26 years with 2 sets of twins and  maids were my main rescue as I needed to raise and take care of my children, be a wife, an in Law and also progress in my  banking Career among others.

I got Joan after the delivery of my first twins and she came in highly recommended from Betty-my sister. Betty took time to vet her to ensure that she was the right fit for my home as far as culture and behavior is concerned.

She was young, innocent, hardworking and a calm soul. I did not have to tell Joan to do anything and how to do it. She was extremely self-driven and loved my children. She was also extremely hospitable and welcoming and all my guests would tell of how warm and caring she was for them whether I was home or not.

With a combination of these attributes, it pushed me to trust and love her without leaving room to doubt or question her character and actions. I took her for my daughter, friend and treated her with lavishness, buying her nice dresses and paying for her hair above sending money to the village parents.

In 2011, we welcomed our second set of twins, I was extremely overwhelmed with the pressure of taking care of the children, meeting my wife roles and also the pressures of work as I had been promoted a year before my pregnancy to the Branch Manager position. I was overwhelmed by work.

I talked to different friends and counselors, they told me I needed to take some pressure off myself, delegate work that I can delegate and also be mindful about my mental health as I was running into a depression.

Long story short, my husband Eric had been used to the fact that I serve his food, I make his Juice and I clean our bedroom. With the pressure I followed the advice and most of the roles at work and home. I didn’t realize that I had delegated to the maid things that attracted my husband to me. Things that made our romance alive!

Joan was a very beautiful girl and with her commitment to working for us, love for the children, cleanliness and the fact that she had learnt how to do things my husband loved, blindly attracted my husband to her. What made it worse was that with my promotion came many responsibilities and I would return home after 9pm everyday including Saturdays.

On one fateful day, my husband had stayed home with our babies while on leave and he was extremely smitten by how Joan took care of everyone and everything. Sex out of the equation due to my unavailability, my husband said to himself that Joan was a better woman than me. And since Joan had also started cleaning my bedroom, it was easy to lure her into sleeping with him.

Joan became pregnant and asked to leave as she couldn’t work with her pregnancy. Ignorant about what had been happening in my house, I later found out from a neighbor who had been seeing my husband return home every day in disguise of checking on the kids. The neighbor suspected that Eric was sleeping with the maid. Eric confirmed it when I confronted him and in a bitter argument he walked out and didn’t return for a week.

I later discovered that he had rented an apartment in Najjera and was now staying with her. With 4 children and 26 years of Marriage, I had to weigh my options. We reconciled recently and also agreed he will stay with Joan since she now has 2 children and makes him happy. We are now two wives!

What’s your story?






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