Dealing with unwanted sexual advances at work can be a tough and uncomfortable scenario. According to surveys, it affects about half of all women, but only about a quarter publicly report it, and those who do are likely to face punishment from their employer. If you are the victim of sexual harassment, know that you are not alone and that there are tools available to assist you.
Here are some tips on how to deal with unwanted sexual advances at work:
- Set clear boundaries. It is important to let the person know that their advances are unwanted and unwelcome. You can do this directly or indirectly. If you feel comfortable, you can say something like, “I’m not interested” or “Please stop.” If you don’t feel comfortable being direct, you can try to change the subject or excuse yourself from the situation.
2. Report the behaviour to your supervisor. If the advances continue, it is important to report the behaviour to your supervisor. Your supervisor will be able to take steps to stop the behaviour and protect you from further harassment.
3. Talk to the organisation’s HR. If your employer does not have a harassment policy, or if the person you are supposed to report the problem to is the one harassing you, consider going to another senior leader or someone in HR.
4. Seek legal help. If the behaviour is severe or if your employer does not take action to stop it, you may want to consider seeking legal help. A lawyer can help you understand your rights and options.
However, before seeking legal assistance, it is crucial to have a clear purpose in mind.
What result do you want? While some may want their harasser fired, others may just want the harassment to stop and to move to a new role or group. Knowing the result you want will shape what you choose to do.
How seriously does your company take sexual harassment? Do company leaders regularly state that sexual harassment is not allowed? If so, then this may indicate that your complaint will be taken seriously. If you work in a place where bad behaviour is common, however, you may be reluctant to come forward, and for good reason. Sexual harassment is not only more likely to occur in workplaces with a permissive culture, but people who report sexual harassment in workplaces with such a culture are also less satisfied with the outcome.
What does your company policy say? Read everything you can about your company’s sexual harassment policy. Make sure you understand what the policy is, what employees are expected to do if they experience or witness harassment, and how to go about reporting it internally. If you do report, you should follow the guidelines carefully, unless, of course, you cannot do so—if, for example, the harasser is the person to whom you are supposed to report it.
Often, when deciding what to do, women must weigh their ability to pay the bills—or advance in their careers—against being treated with dignity and respect. This is not a choice anyone should be subjected to, but it is the reality. It is critical to realise that unwanted sexual advances are not your fault. You did not deserve this treatment, and there are tools available to assist you. You are not alone.
