Every young woman who dreams of getting married, looks forward to joining a family that will love her like it were in her father’s home. But this isn’t the case for most girls especially here in Africa.
Dativa Kyomugisha found a loving man who wanted to settle down with her and build a family together. The young man proposed and she said yes, he took her to his family to meet her new family.
However this was the end of the happy new family she had dreamed of all her life. From the word go, she was rejected by her would be mother-in-law, who did not like her looks, her tribe and even judged her cooking skills without having given her a chance to prove herself.
“There’s this stereotype about a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not getting along, interactions filled with tension, discord, and conflict. I get it, really I do. But what I experienced by my mother-in-law for years was far beyond a stereotype or what any person should tolerate, whether from a family member or in-law relationship,” Dativa said.
Mothers-in-law should be a shining example of what a good marriage is to their daughters-in-law. They are supposed to nature and give guidance on issues in marriage and are supposed to set their sons straight if they are failing in the marriage.
Contrary to this, most mothers-in-law can’t seem to see past the shortfalls of their daughters-in-law and perceived perfection of their sons.
“I almost gave up on my marriage because of verbal and physical abuse from my mother-in-law but because of my husband’s reassurance and love, I decided to stay. I thank God for my husband because he eventually protected me from her,” Dativa added.
Some of these mothers-in-law also faced torture at the hands of their mothers-in-law and are doing it as they know best but this shouldn’t be a basis for the mistreatment of someone else’s daughter.
At some point we have got to break the cycle of torture and mistreatment. At some point we as women need to learn how to look out for fellow women. For the women raising our grandchildren. For the women looking after our sons.
Mothers, your daughter-in-law might actually have many inadequacies and might not be perfect but neither are you or your son. Or your daughter that is going to get married someday.
Let us do unto each other as we want to be done unto us and our loved ones.