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Thursday, September 29, 2022

Fighting the horror of rape at 12 years by my uncle, a gashing ordeal

This last week has been a dark one in my life as I recounted several episodes from my childhood. I was raised by a single father in Nyaravur suburb, Nebbi town. My father was a business man who would be out of town most days of the week.

Due to his constant travels, my father trusted me with his brother Joshua Okello who would work at the shop and sleep at home. 

Joshua was a good guy, he would help me with homework including cooking taking and picking me from school daily.

Last week on Tuesday, I met Uncle Joshua on Kampala Road as I headed to work. I had not seen Joshua since he left home in 2002 after he was chased away by Dad. Joshua had left for Dubai hoping he was running away from his sins.

Seeing him triggered so much memories and I found myself retrieving everything he did to me 2001.

It was a sunny Friday, 2001 when dad had traveled to do shopping from Arua town, and usually he takes two days before returning.

On this day, Joshua picked me from School unfortunately that evening he did not return to the shop as he always did. He stayed home, cooked and we had early supper.

Little did I know that it was a slaughter party! After Supper as I went to shower, Uncle Joshua followed me to the bathroom and raped me. He later threatened to kill me if I ever share with anyone including my father.

Being motherless and very far from relatives, there was no one I could trust with my dark drama. 

He continued raping me almost weekly, but maintained his threat to kill me if I ever share with anyone. This made me to keep quiet until one day when I opened to my father about this after a year later.

It took me almost a year to reveal to my dad what had transpired between me and Uncle Joshua. I thank God that he acted immediately and sent him away from home.

This was just a temporal solution to a new journey of feeling worthless, wasted, and traumatized. To some extent, I got so addicted to sex since I was introduced to it at an early age.

In 2019, I got married to my high school boyfriend and because he is young and I think in experienced, I have cheated on him with over 10 men looking for sexual satisfaction. It is so bad that some days I even pay someone to just have sex.

Sexual abuse is like having a miscarriage. It happens and everyone else moves on like nothing happened. It is the victim that will carry the effects for life. I now know I was hurt, I am in pain, I feel ashamed and helpless. How do I move from this place? Please advise me.

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